carleymeiners

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

I’m pretty sure Charles Dickens wrote that line about planning a wedding.

Matt and I (well really my mom and I) are on the final stretch of wedding planning.

Disclaimer: I realized after my last blog, it was the first time I put a name to anyone on this blog. Weird.

It’s been a whirlwind year (exactly 1 year next week) of wedding planning. It’s been a year of growth, learning and understanding the importance of balance (in all aspects of our lives).

Only a select few of Matt’s and I’s friends are married. And there’s only a few, as in 2, of my close girlfriends who are also in the wedding planning stage. I never thought that was a big deal. I was always the girl in a relationship while most of my friends were single. But man, it’s been difficult to not have a support system that knows from experience exactly what I’m going through.

Don’t get me wrong, my support system is awesome. My girlfriends listen to the latest stresses of wedding planning, and sometimes I wonder how I still have friends. Wedding planning is hard.

Wedding planning is hard.

It’s stressful.

It’s emotional.

It’s exhausting

And yes, it’s exciting all at the same time.

I’ve consumed countless amounts of articles on wedding planning in hopes of consuming all the advice I can possibly fit in my brain.

SO…

Here’s (so far) some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

If you can, avoid, avoid, avoid planning a wedding long distance.

It has been super difficult planning a wedding in a different state. It’s costly to travel back and forth. It’s annoying to explain to vendors over and over again how no, you can’t randomly show up for an appointment. And it can make those weeks (home or wherever you end up getting married) super stressful and exhausting.

People will ask weird questions. And you will have to develop a better poker face.

The first couple of times people asked weird questions I was a little offended. It was probably a little bit of an overreaction. I should have learned sooner rather than later to ignore the questions. People are curious. I mean dang, I should know better since, you know, I’m a journalist, but I still wasn’t prepared.

But weird questions, weird concerns, weird opinions, are all ways people give their support. 90% of the time they are well intended.

Weddings bring out weird, weird emotions

After our pretty awful 2016, I didn’t think wedding planning could beat 2016. But it comes in close. There are times where I dream of elopement and wish it was all just over. I know it will all be worth it, and I can’t wait for that feeling when I walk down the aisle or when we’re getting on the plane for our honeymoon. But man, I could go without everyone’s emotions.

Especially since I have so many of my own.

No matter what you do, someone will get upset. You can’t please everyone, right? And yes, all families (I MEAN ALL FAMILIES) have quirks and different traditions and expectations. But you have to do with you want, what your fiance want while also respecting your parent’s wishes, since, in a way, this is somewhat their day, too. Easier said than done, but constantly reminding myself that patience is the best thing you could ever teach yourself has helped.

And lots of wine.

Marriage is the ultimate goal. Not the wedding day.

Preparing for your marriage is ultimately the most important part of wedding planning. Look, I felt like Matt and I had learned a lot about each other in the past 3 and a half years of dating. But after reading a couple books, there are still a few things we have had to learn about each other.

Like the expectations of our household. How we’ll make career and family decisions. And all the little things in between like apologizing and forgiveness. Something I think we’ve vastly prepared ourselves for over the past year.

I’m excited for the days and years to come. Being in love and having a partner in life is the most rewarding thing. I love learning about each other and tackling what comes our way together.

Wedding planning may not be fun, but I know the actual wedding and marriage will be endless fun.

If you’re interested, here are some book recommendations for anyone getting married, dating or single. Send me your book recommendations if you have them! I love a good relationship book.

The Meaning of Marriage- Timothy Keller

The 5 Love Languages- Gary Chapman

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married- Gary Chapman (currently reading SO HELPFUL)