carleymeiners

I couldn’t sleep last night. I woke up thinking about all the things I STILL have to do. I feel like we’ve been planning this one day for our entire lives. A few things have already been mixed up, and man, I feel exhausted.

And we still have 3 weeks to go.

If you missed the memo, wedding planning has been stressful. It’s an exciting event, but I’ve never found myself thinking “yes, this is the best thing on the planet.” When you talk to me the weekend of the wedding, I’ll have a different opinion but leading up to all this has been too many decisions, opinions, and stress.

I also have felt like it’s an unpopular opinion to say I don’t like wedding planning. As a little girl, we’re supposed to dream about this day. And I did. But to me, the stress has been overwhelming and hard. I can’t shut up about my stress or feelings anymore.

Just trying to be honest here.

I am thankful though that we are getting an entire weekend with everyone we love. I get to see people we rarely get to see and to me, that will make this all worth it.

I mean, not to mention, I’ll get to finally marry my best friend.

As the stress has really settled in the past couple weeks, it’s also made me reflect on everything that’s led up to this moment.

The relationships have all lived on this blog. Well, really that have all died on this blog because to be honest, Matt is the only guy on this blog that I was actually dating while I blogged.

It all seems so silly now.

Each of these men have taught me lessons about myself. They taught me what I wanted in a relationship and more importantly what I wouldn’t sacrifice.

But they all led to Matt. (Some literally… if you haven’t heard, my ex introduced Matt and I).

And, there’s something about knowing you’ll spend the rest of your life with someone that makes a relationship, love, so magical. It’s knowing that, that person feels the exact same way towards you as you do to them. It’s knowing the challenges life throws at you will never be faced alone.

Honestly, being in love with your best friend is like that feeling you get when you come home from a long Monday. It’s relief and comfort. Although it may be hard to get through the long days, coming home at the end of the day is always rewarding.

Now, as I’ve finished rambling about my feelings which are all over the place, let’s talk about the future. The future of this blog to be specific. In the future, I hope to grow and continue to be honest as Matt and I begin our marriage. Because let’s be honest, marriage faces just as many challenges as dating relationships do.

I hope to be open and honest about things that I’ve never discussed (ahhem, Matt’s career). Something I’ve been nervous about discussing but plan to do in a thoughtful (security filled) way.

What do you want to hear about? Let me know in the comments. I love hearing from people who read my blog.