carleymeiners

Hi, my name’s Carley, and I am a military spouse.

OK, most of you that read this blog already knew that, but I’ve never publicly made that known. Until now.

Right before M asked me to be his girlfriend (I mean literally the sentence before he asked), he asked, “You know I’m leaving, right?” He was referencing his future graduation and move to wherever the Air Force sent him. OH, what a phrase to start our relationship on.

Before I left for college, I had never moved. I grew up in Flower Mound, Texas in the comfort of parents who were always around. Never would I have thought I would marry into a life where moves are constant and to a man whose career will often keep him from home.

The funny thing is that every guy I dated in college wanted to be in the military. In the back of my mind, I always thought, “This will not work out. I don’t want to be a military wife.” Well, I guess you don’t really get to choose who you fall in love with.

After that dinner when M and I became officially boyfriend and girlfriend (M’s traditional… We’re highly aware kids these days rarely make things “official”), we didn’t think much of his upcoming commissioning into the Air Force. It wasn’t scary, and honestly, the military seemed like a small percentage of our life, something like 10%. It was 100% his life, but for us, it was something for the future.

M was in the process of getting hired by a Guard unit, and I was busy learning how to parse verbs. The Guard unit didn’t work out, and M commissioned into the Air Force with a few months of down time before he started training.

When he started training, I was busy in my fall semester of senior year. We FaceTimed a lot but barely talked during the day. He wasn’t allowed to have his phone on him during training. We learned a lot about our communication styles this year, which was probably a good set up for future deployments, TDYs, and other long-distance military happenings.

Towards the end of that school year, M was about to have his drop night and was going over the locations he could end up with me. We knew we wanted to be together but also knew the Air Force could send him somewhere not good for my career. The week was filled with arguments and discussions on what was good and what wasn’t. We didn’t agree on his top location (they rank a list of jobs and location and then the Air Force sends them to what they deem the best fit. Based off many things I don’t really understand so…). I was praying that his drop night would have us land together in one place where it would be possible for me to find a job. And it did. That place is beautiful Denver, Colorado… our first home together.

I embarked on the job hunt, which to my surprise was way harder than expected. I think I applied for 60 jobs total. Towards the end, I felt desperate knowing I would have to end up living with my parents if I didn’t find anything in Denver.

But I remember when I applied for the job I currently still have. It was one of few I could actually picture myself happy in. I felt like it was a long shot but applied anyway. Up until now, the interviews I was getting were not as ideal or just for internships. I applied over spring break and never heard back. A month later, the company called. It was the best interview I had out of probably 15 interviews.

I accepted the position 2 days after I graduated, and moved to a city to be with my military man.

Through the process of our first base together, we both had some pretty frustrating nights. He didn’t know exactly what the military meant for my career. And I didn’t know the commitment I was about to make. Suddenly, the Air Force was the biggest part of our relationship. Suddenly it was a big part of me and who I am.

No one wants (or should want) to be a military spouse. We know what we sign up for… and we don’t. We say goodbye to a life of predictability and stability all to support those who support our country. We give up career opportunities, friends, being close to family and sometimes our spouses. The amount of sacrifices spouses make is endless.

We wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but we also wouldn’t change it.

My purpose in life, as M’s wife, is vastly different than who I thought I was going to be when I left Texas. The military has become who I am. It will forever be who I am. I find myself more passionate about advocating for spouses, veterans and those who still serve than anything I’ve ever been passionate about.

As part of this series (you know since this is part 1), I want to provide insight on our lifestyle, the glorious moments and the challenging ones. I want to be transparent on the really hard times. And develop a voice as a military spouse. And as always, I want to use this blog as a way to cope through some of the pains of life.

And I promise the future posts won’t be as spacy as this one. This one feels like word vomit.

What do you want to know? Leave it in the comments, tweet me, email me, Facebook message me!