carleymeiners

I never wanted to be a military spouse. I actually used to say I would never marry a man in the military.

Days (well, really weeks lately) like today make me really understand why the military life is not for just anyone. There’s a lot of complicated aspects (Tricare) and stressful aspects (Deployments, TDYs and so much more), and just the straight up SUCK: otherwise known as the PCS.

Also, for those who are non-military PCS means “permanent change of station” AKA a move.

I promised myself I would document this process. Right in the middle of the suck… when I’m the most stressed… when I’m the most PO’d about military life. So here we go:

This is our first PCS together, and we are so not ready to leave Denver. We have felt blessed since day 1 to have the opportunity to move to a beautiful, up-and-coming location. Colorado is, IMO, one of the best places to live.

It is where I started my career with a company that has turned into a huge blessing to our military life. It is where we got engaged. It’s where we started our lives together.

So here are a few unique things about a military move (because contrary what some think and have said to me, it is not like a normal civilian move). The military tells you exactly WHEN (and for that matter where) to move. As in, you have a few days to get yourself from Point A to Point B. And when you receive your new duty station, there’s almost like 70% chance it will change. For us, as soon as I told my bosses the move dates, M called saying we had the option to change our duty station. This literally happened within 2 hours of me emailing them because OF COURSE. Never make plans in the military.

Another thing is that it’s very confusing (at least for us first timers) on when you can start to purchase packing materials and still get reimbursed after the fact. Unfortunately, we somehow had misinformation, and I had to purchase packing materials 3 days before our move. We decided to do this move on our own since we live in a small 1 bedroom. Spoiler: I will never again move without packers.

Now, let’s talk about housing. We’re moving in a particularly slow season apparently for military moves. We had the idea that we would live on base and call it a day. But since it’s a slow season there’s not really a ton of houses available.

Well, the first house we were offered at our first duty location was actually AWFUL. As in, I was in tears thinking about living there full time. Then we tried to get on the list at the new base. Well, we ended up not being anywhere close to getting a house 2 weeks out from our move. It was looking like we were either:

A. Going to live in a hotel

B. Do long distance so I could work from my parent’s house.

C. Live in a temporary apartment paying month-to-month.

All of which are for sure not IDEAL when you are working from home full time like I will be.

So I stalked Zillow for rentals that were in decent shape/in our price range and FINALLY one came up. My wonderful parents went and saw the house for us, and we luckily secured housing BEFORE our PCS. M said a lot of people were still looking for housing in his pilot in-processing. So that’s one success for this move!

All of this is happening while I’m still working my full-time job. Don’t get me wrong, all moves suck. But the unique aspects that come with a military move make it a little suckier than usual. Not to mention, I’m doing a little bit of this on my own.

The military life may not be something I wished for, but it’s the life I have. M gets to follow his dream of becoming a pilot, and I’m adjusting to my new passions as a military spouse. The sacrifices we make (early and often) in our marriages are more than most make in a lifetime. It can be an exhausting lifestyle.

But we make it work. M and I will make it work. Our lives are about to look dramatically different than they have the past 3 years. He will be gone more often. We will most likely face a deployment in the coming years. And there will be so much more obstacles to face as we adjust (I mean do you ever fully adjust?) to military life.

It’s not anything I would change. I guess, as many would say, we’ll have to “embrace the suck.” PCS, ready or not, HERE WE COME.